World News

Could there be any lamer excuse than “My blood alcohol level is that high because I just used alcohol based hand sanitizer”? Well, New York’s congressman Vito Fosella didn’t think so! When he was pulled over by the cops in Alexandria, Virginia last year and read a 17 on the Breathalyzer, more than double the drinking limit, that’s what he stated. After a few “Who do you think we are?!” looks from police investigators, DA (Drug Administration) investigators, reporters, and pretty much everybody else, he changed his plea from DUIHS (driving under the influence of hand sanitizer) to the good old DUI (driving under the influence).

          The excuse by Mr. Fosella is just one of the many flabby excuses we hear every day, including a woman who torched her hotel bathroom due to the death of Michael Jackson. In this article are some other stories we desperately want to share.

1) Leave Me Alone!

There might be a time and a place when you need to be alone. Try not to use these excuses:   

“My dog has been suffering from depression, and I really think he and I need some time together.”

“My friend is going to be on Who Wants to Be A Millionaire, and I’m her phone friend, and you know what these shows are like. They could ring any time.

“The football season has just started. I call you when it’s ended.”

Courtesy of Reader’s Digest October 2009

2) Running Down The Highway (literally)

Why do we speed? “Well everyone’s going faster,” you reply. That might seem pretty legit to everyone, except the cops that listen to you. Here are some other speeding alibis.

“I thought my friend’ party was at two.”

“I was depressed with myself because I failed my job interview.”

"I thought I saw flying whales so I wanted to see where they came from. Then I saw that they were flying horses and drove faster.”

3) Why Are You Late?

We always will have one day when we’re tardy for work. Some employers fire their workers if they don’t have a lame excuse like the ones below.

“I dreamed I was fired, so I didn’t get out of bed.”

“I was talking with my dog for the whole night.”

“A trip agent came into my room and asked me if I wanted to go to Venice. So I did.”

Our environment is constantly changing. As world population grows, the plant universe that we cherish shrinks. Green plants provide us with our most basic necessity which is oxygen. Unfortunately, we continue to deforest to make room for new buildings and parking lots. Many environmental activists like Al Gore and David Suzuki are trying to save our green planet. However, activists can only tell the story. They need everyone on this planet to bring about the changes necessary for our survival.

In 2008, some large companies like TD Canada Trust have begun to sponsor a new ‘TD Friends of The Environment Foundation’ which grows trees with customer donations. You can learn more at www.td.com/fef.

There are many ways we can stop global warming and reduce consumption of our natural resources. We could use less water. We should use electricity only when we need to. We could differentiate between things that we need and want. Our modern consumer culture has led us to spend frivolously on many trendy but unnecessary things. We could incorporate the three R’s (Reduce, Reuse, and Recycle) into our daily living. There are many things we could do. It’s just that we have to take action soon and change the world once and for all.  

Immigration: Who Should Be Allowed to

Immigrate to Canada?

Shannon Wong: Freelance Writer 

Modern day Canada is a nation of immigrants which grew from a frontier land of native people and French and English settlers.  In the 20^th century, Canada started to accept immigrants from many different countries.  Some came with the skills necessary to help grow the economy.  Others came to escape poverty, persecution, and war.  Still others came to reunite with family members already established in Canadian communities.  Together they build a common identity, known as multicultural Canada.

          Many skilled professions are required to be filled in a growing economy.  Sometimes there is a domestic shortage of skilled labour which makes a higher level of immigration necessary so foreign workers can be imported legally. 

          If too many workers in one profession are allowed to immigrate to Canada and compete with domestic workers, this surplus of labour will put downward pressure on wages.  However, some highly paid professions like doctors and lawyers have licensing requirements that discriminate against those who are not trained locally. 

          A long waiting list of people who wish to immigrate to Canada could encourage some to jump the queue and others to profit from helping those enter the country illegally.  Human smuggling into Canada is a big problem, especially from countries with high rates of poverty and desperate conditions. 

          China and India are the most populous countries in the world.  Many want to come to Canada to look for better economic opportunities.  The Philippines are a poor country that exports a large number of women who work as domestic help.  Pakistan is a politically unstable country.  Some Americans come to Canada for better health care or to be reunited with family.  Many Iranians face political persecution at home.  British people come to Canada because of their familiarity with this other Commonwealth country.  Some South Koreans are worried about their proximity to the North.  Colombia is a country plagued by drugs and crime.  Lastly, if I were French, I would want to stay home because it’s a great country to live in. 

          Every year, Canada admits a number of immigrants, usually based on family reunification, labour shortages, and the overall state of the economy.  There are people who are in favour of both higher and lower levels of immigration, and their reasons can be justified under different economic conditions.  Our economy must produce enough jobs to absorb the new workers into our labour force.  Otherwise, many will fail to become employed and end up being the responsibility of the state.  

Traditionally, cartoons are intended for entertainment purposes, but cartoonist also create more serious editorial or political cartoons which are still humorous. A 25-year-old Canadian cartoonist named Kate Beaton whose humorous and often historical drawings depicting characters from Canada's past are attracting much attention. 

She has done funny pieces about characters from the French Revolution, and cartoons based on Oscar Wilde, Bejamin Franklin, and Wonder Woman. She also did cartoons about our former prime ministers: John Diefenbaker, Lester Pearson, Pierre Trudeau, and Brian Mulroney.

However, Beaton's audience seems to be largely American. She admits that making history funny to people who don't know their history is a challenge. Also if they are not a history buff, you probably won't be able to get all the jokes. 

  Ms. Beaton finds Canadian history a great subject for her work. She would never be bored. If you want to be one of her thousands of Canadian fans, please visit www.katebeaton.com.